Arguing teens-Pain flare-Family vacation ?

I swear, I will never again take my two argumentative teens on a “family fun” vacation again! These two little Rodents have been at each others throats the Entire Time! All they’ve done is argue about every single teeny tiny thing, bitch that they are hungry every five minutes, and demand that I entertain them, Constantly!!!! They are 18 & 14 for chrissakes!!! Quit fucking fighting for five minutes and go DO something !!!

Needless to say, my fibromyalgia has kicked into a full gear flare. I hurt so bad I just wish I could beam myself home and avoid the four hour car ride sitting in the middle back seat .(the middle? Why you ask? To seperate the kids) The pain in my right hip, caused by my Sacroiliac Joint, is somewhere between back labor and and being repeatedly shot. The whole area is one giant cramp-charley horse, and nothing’s touching the pain. It’s made my foot numb in a painful way and radiating up and down my leg, and across my lower back. Chalk it up to all the walking, all the stress, and the shitty mattress in this incredibly expensive room.
I may die before I get home.
I think I might rather die before I get home.



Another day, another Fibromyalgia & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome symptom (I guess???)

I am completely perplexed by my body, my mind, and my sleep schedule as of late. Just a few short days ago, I was literally blogging about how I was sleeping my life away. Begging for anyone to commiserate with me, to no avail I might add.
Now there’s been an odd shift to my non-existent circadian rhythm. At the beginning of the week, I slept several shifts of 20-30 hours each, only being awake for 1-3 hours at a time. Restless, hard, unresponsive, coma-like sleep. The house could’ve burned down around me and IF someone remembered to rescue me, I likely would’ve slept through it.
Now for the odd part. I was exhausted all day Saturday, and we did a lot of work at Grandpas and running him to and fro, so when I came home I collapsed on the couch. I fell asleep around 5:00pm, and woke to Tucker snoring his ass off next to me. So I got him up and moved him to bed.
I’ve been awake

By my calculations, I’m pushing nearly 37 hours right now. I’ve not done anything out of the ordinary. No change in meds. I took my regular meds on time. No pain pills, sleeping pills, or the like.
I’m even drinking decaffeinated tea and not loading up on extra coffee.
I feel a bit like hell. I hurt everywhere. Feels a bit like my body’s taking me for a ride and I am not properly strapped in!
I know there’s a crash and burn coming soon. Something tells me it ain’t gonna be pretty…….


Dear Blog

Is there anybody out there?
Is anyone listening ?
I’m quickly losing all hope here people…


This damned disease..

I’m sitting here this morning, I think it’s Friday. I just woke up and yet again, I’ve completely lost an entire chunk of a week. I’m numb. Everything hurts – from my hair to my toenails. I don’t remember when this flare started and I have no clue when it might end.
I’m sleeping my life away and everyone is sick and tired of it. Every Dr I’ve been too schedules another appointment, another test, 4 weeks down the road, with no answers for me at that time, and I leave in tears again, because I just want something right then! Something that will give me some hope! Something that will make my life slightly worth living right now! Something that will make it all hurt a little less, make my sleep a little more normal, make my brain a little more functional, make my life a little more like life!
No one has any answers. Everything’s chalked up to fibromyalgia . No one will listen to me when I’m silently screaming at the top of my lungs with every ounce of energy that I have left that I can’t live this way any longer!
It’s destroying me and everything that I have. My husband can’t physically wake me up, and what time we do spend together is peppered with those looks of disappointment, those talks of how I can’t do certain things. I can see in his face how sick of all of this he is getting. Who wants a wife who lays in bed day and night? Who can’t tend to his needs or remember to pay the bills on time?
the begining he tried to remind me to take care of myself. He would bring me my pills, make sure I always had a cold drink, rub my screaming muscles with every cream known to man and hold me and talk me through it while I cried. Now it’s like I don’t exist. I lay in my room while I’m down sometimes for days at a time. Sipping the same stale water from yesterday. Wearing the same clothes I laid down in. No one knows I exist. He watches tv in the living room, it feels like he’s a million miles away, and I know he’s come home from work. I don’t have the energy to do anything about it, and I don’t want to make anyone mad if they’re trying to stay away from me.
I understand, and I don’t, all at the same time.
I just want to be better! I just want some little piece of my life back!
I want someone to be able to tell me while I’m ok-ish for 4-5 days at a time, then it’s just like someone unplugs me. I get hit with a wave of pain and fatigue that not even the strongest man alive could fight off. It levels me! I curl into a ball and sleep. I sleep for 30 straight hours! I don’t eat! I don’t pee! I can’t move! Moving results in excruciating pain. I long for a cold drink but there’s nothing there and I don’t have the energy to yell for someone to bring me something. My phones to far away to call someone and I fall asleep again. When I wake up it takes me a full 12 hours to get functional again. The stiffness in my joints is unbearable. Moving my head causes waves of nausea and pain. Walking is dizzying.

Does anyone else go through this?